So you like it juicy?

Dearest readers, I'm overjoyed to announce my newest contributor, James Napoli. A renaissance man if I've ever met one, James' talents and charm far exceed that of the average college students. I could go on, but I'll let his snappy, arousing prose speak for itself. Enjoy!

According to the Merriam Webster Collegiate Dictionary, Juicy is defined as, “having much juice: succulent” Some dictionaries even go as far as to use a juicy pear as an example. Now, this has got to be one of my favorite definitions of all time. Mostly because of how often the word is used for something that does NOT correlate with the definition. Want an example? OK, sweatpants. Have you ever seen girls walking around whatever town you come from, wearing sweatpants with the word Juicy plastered across their ass? These girls usually saunter about with their tight little asses moving sensuously up and down as they walk. They know that you’re staring, most likely drooling as you stand at the self-serve gas station. Presumably, they bought the pants in question because they believed them to be -on some bizarre level-sexy. Don’t get me wrong now, girls look very, very nice in a tight little pair of sweats, but the word juicy just throws me off. I mean honestly, what does that even imply? Does this poor girl have a terrible case of jungle rot, or is she leaking some sort of discharge? I really just don’t get it. I mean, since the word juicy implies something wet, why in God’s Green Earth is it being compared to someone’s buttocks? It’s ridiculous, and I don’t know about other guys, but a wet ass really doesn’t get my jollies going.

You’re probably thinking to yourself, what the hell is this guy talking about? So what if she’s got a little sweat beading up on her ass, that’s usually a turn on when I watch porn. Au contraire, mi amigo. Maybe a little anecdote will knock you to your senses. Picture this, you’re making out with some chick in the backseat of your 1998 Camry, and she’s hot. I mean smoking fucking hot. She’s got these smoldering eyes that immediately make you think of sex, and her tits are fine as hell. So, being the baller that you think you are, decide to nonchalantly slide your hand down her back and underneath the elastic band of her sweatpants. She doesn’t seem to mind, and she presses her taught hips even more tightly against yours, arching her back ever so slightly. Score, you think to yourself, this chick’s a fucking slut. Then, as you slide your hand deeper into unexplored territory, and her breathing starts to get heavy, something goes horribly, horribly wrong. Your hand is soaking wet. Soaking, fucking wet, with God knows what. In the midst of your panic attack, after you dry your hand off on something (most likely her shirt that found its way on the floor) you notice that stamped across her ass is the word Juicy. That my friend, is what I call a boner killer. So please, girls-please. Keep is sexy, keep it gangsta, keep it dry.

Quiet time music!

So tonight Mr. Storm brought us the music of the glorious Miss Rachel Wiegand, so check her out! As he put it, she's a hottie with a guitar, in case you missed us chatting her up on the show tonight! She's got a rad mellow vibe that offered us a great counterpoint to the postpunk stuff I've been spinning lately...we always love to indulge in something a little different!

On that note, I'd like to announce that the fabulous Storm and I (Katie) will be spinning on WMAR together next semester, so watch outttt, it's gonna be crazy! Indie shenanigans out to ass! Caitlin is returning with own show with Nick Strang-Wolf to play more of the vintage folk rock she's so crazy about. So we're all still going to be on the air, and offering you more excuses to tune in! 

We have that SPECIAL SAUCE!

Dear readers, as the Time for Feasting (gotta love food-centered holidays!) approaches, I must explain two things.

Thing One:

I love cranberry sauce. Of the canned variety. And it must still be in the shape of the can, even if it's on a really beautiful china dish the way ours always is. Everything else, including the bread for the stuffing, is homemade and absolutely breathtaking, but for some reason, it is that cranberry sauce that has me salivating for good ol' Turkey Day! And the leftover sandwiches, which, let's face it, are really the only reason we put up with Thanksgiving in the first place!

Thing Two:

It is hell week for dance, which means I have rehearsal for four hours a day, in addition to exam-taking, term research, radioshow-doing and the various mundane things that fill in the rest. So if you don't hear from me for a few days, my deepest apologies, I shall return in force over Thanksgiving break with much new music and a new Last.fm player chock full of rad new tunes for this site, as I will be at home in the throes of what I like to call "The Turkey Coma". Which means I will actually have time to write, and will, when I'm not off having mad shenanigans in Vermont! 

So adieu for the time-being, and I'll try to post as much as I can between now and Thanksgiving, so keep checking back and commenting and what-not. We also have more guest contributors coming up, so get pumped y'all!

And just to satisfy your music craving, here's the link for that new funk band I debuted on my show last night named The Kitchen. Are you sensing a theme yet?! Go eat!

So about Friday nights...

This particular Friday night was crazy redonkadonk! We threw a Disco Ravin' party, complete with tons of sequins and all the essential tunes (BeeGees to the face!). So add that to the list from the previous Friday-night entry....

Throw a themed party!

I fear for the mundane nature of life on occasion. Friday was NOT one of those times! Another sweet theme I've heard recently is "hipster sluts and trendy fucks", but it cannot top the Porn Party my posse threw when I was rockin' the 802 a couple weeks ago. Epic much? Hell yeah!

My party this weekend ended up with a certain El Presidente not making it back across campus...and staying til 3pm the next day! You know it's a great night when...

Wild Kingdom metaphors for tunes?! Hell Yeah!

Hey readers, I'm proud to introduce Green Shock's newest contributor Nicholas (Nick "The Hip") Palumbo! He's the pseudo-hipster Veep of WMAR and knows infinitely more crazy and obscure bands than I do, so I'm bringing him to you! Here's his first post...enjoy!

Today, I saw a fox (and a gorgeous one at that). It was stalking a squirrel that had climbed up a telephone pole. I thought it was such a marvelous site that I forgot why I went to my car. I remembered 20 minutes later why I was outside, spending the whole time fixated on this extremely beautiful creature. I had not gone out of my way to find this fox, it just surprised me. I love it when music does the same to me. When a new artist or song hides around the corner and waits for you to get closer before it pounces and screams, “Surprise!” This week, I came across a folk band called “Gregory & The Hawk”. I found them on Myspace but came across them accidently (quite similarly to how I came across the fox). The vocals are velvety, the music extremely basic. “Boats and Birds” is a song that legitimately brought tears down my face. It is the kind of song that will play while Zach Braff spoons with Scarlett Johansson on a bed in an empty apartment in the next best film since “Garden State” (one can wish, right?) We need to be open and aware of our surroundings. If we aren’t, we might miss that new artist or new song that will change the world (or miss that fox). There you have it! Nick the Hip will be writing as often as he can, and helping me raise the baby love child that is Green Shock! Groovy baby --Nicholas Palumbo..

Concert Update!

Since I don't sleep, I thought I'd quick like a bunny remind you that Ra Ra Riot is playing at Higher Ground on December 3 and YOU SHOULD GO if you happen to be in the Burlington, VT area. It's their first state-side gig recently, since they've flown away to Europe (Paris right before this, if you were wondering). If you DON'T happen to be in the Burlington area, the band will also be playing upstate in Albany at Valentines before moving on to...lots of other places in the US! I'm certainly not going to post them here, but Ra Ra Riot is the proud maker of some pretty riotous music, and their concerts should be freakin' sweet! So go! Spend money...Christmas isn't coming or anything...

And if you absolutely can't go, at least get your little mitts on their newest album The Rhumb Line and click on THAT and listen to it, especially Ghost Under Rocks, which I really like. 

The Panics

After years of pub-playing strife that included an Australian Recording Industry Association Music Award from The Land Down Under, The Panics have finally exported to the US with their 2007 album 'Cruel Guards'. I was stoked to get this album, since last week was such a bore with Manchester Orchestra...I actually liked listening to this! While they're "indie", they are not obscure sounding or experimental in any way...certainly a safe listen. With horns added to several tracks, there's a grand, U2-esque quality (though much less pompousness) to their particular brand of rock, with plenty of reverb just the way I like it. The band formed when all the members met on the fist day of high school and became friends because of their similar haircuts...gotta love the vanity factor. Don't think too far into that however, for when they were asked how they stayed in shape, they replied,

I have a body like ET

. Damn, I know that's the kinda man I'm looking for. Regardless, these Aussies can rock my down under on a regular basis with this album. Let my dirty fetish for accent-bearing musicians continue...

Tracks: Feeling Is Gone, Get Us Home, Don't Fight It

Please, I'm begging you Kings of Leon...

For the sake of rock and roll, my sanity, your own Deep South home-schooled childhoods, or my faith in new music, KEEP RELEASING ALBUMS! My dirty fetish for Zeppelin will only take me so far, so I'm glad you're picking that back up where they left off, leaving me head-banging and gasping for breath in the radio booth. It really says something about the integrity of the British that they grabbed ahold of you before the American bullshit-filled charts finally noticed, but that comes as no surprise. Not to mention, their playlist on Last.fm is phenomenal and sports enough distorted rock to choke a porn star. As if that visual wasn't a little much...anyway, go and listen!

And I can't help but have the upmost respect for a band that believes they were formed as a result of church music and Jack Daniel's, among other things like good family Southern values, chitlins, peaches and (choke) country music (which I can overlook). GLORIOUS! 

Seriously readers, get them. Or we WILL be fighting. And by fighting I mean I'm going to Madison Square Garden to hear them play in January and then years from now you will realize their genius and ask yourself, "WHY DIDN'T I LISTEN TO KATIE?!" My favorite kind of fighting...the kind where I'm always right.

Punked out

What's good China Cat fans! So I don't own a TV, don't watch TV, no time, prefer to actually experience life instead of tuning into whatever garbage MTV is serving up today. HOWEVER. I do watch Gossip Girl online from time to time, and I'd just love to rant about Taylor Momsen's new hair. Incidentally I had a similar cut earlier last year, but regardless, it's bitchin'. Ignoring the fact that she's only 15, I'd definitely buy whatever she's selling. Finally, some avant garde hair and makeup on TV!

And who knows, maybe she inspired me to cut mine back off to it's former boy-short glory...

Speaking of getting off...

So I've been reading about bending sexuality within the music industry, and it's pretty interesting. Basically no one was bisexual without the help of Bowie in the 70's, including (reportedly...) Iggie Pop and Mick Jagger. So the next time you put in the Rolling Stones and start going on about how they're the epitome of manly rock gods, think again. 

But it's more interesting this way, don't you think? Isn't it just easier if we accept that sexuality is fluid and not necessarily a definition of the self? Do we really have to consider gender when we love people...can't we just see the person?

friday nights

are a waste of life. seriously. here are some alternatives to going to the sandbar and having freshmen sweat all over you for 3 hours.

1. go see a show. this blog is about rad music after all, so read on and just say no to akon and chris brown, at least for one night. 

2. make delicious food. yes, in your kitchen. use spices. aregano should be involved. 

3. play twister. the written rules need not apply. the more people and less clothing involved, the better.

4. make a fort and sleep in it. 

5. if you're in vermont, throw a barn party. because everyone knows someone who has a barn...no risk of noise complaints, plenty of room for everyone to crash.

6. read something substantial. if you have ADD like me, start with brautigan (transition writer between the beat writers and hippies...try revenge of the lawn, it's 62 short stories that are all less than 3 pages long that are witty and poetic). 

7. throw a party with a band. yes, a live band. usually local bands are thrilled with someplace to play and damn it makes you look cool!

8. or for you musically-inclined people, start a band. friday night band practices can be a gig all their own, so get a keg and plug in!

9. hire rent a cop. go to the club with your new bodyguard and arrive with an entourage so you don't have to wait on line. possibly have him carry around a boombox on his shoulder so you have an entrance song. 

10. make paper cranes and give them to people

11. eat some fro-yo, ho!

12. make a movie, post it online 

plus most of these are FO FREE, so you can save your money for sweet shows! go! now! be productive and creative!

manchester orchestra

So i do these CD reviews for WMAR, and this week was Manchester Orchestra. Despite the inclusion of a well-placed gong in the opening track, Manchester Orchestra bored me into submission. To be fair, the music itself is actually really good...parallel harmonies keep it straight with block piano chords and a simple set of drums, leaving the music simple and to the point. On a rainy day, if I needed to glare at my journal and feel alone, I'd put this on. Maybe I'm just too happy to see a place for this in my permanent collection...others may disagree. Their track "I was a Lid" adds some raw guitar, but it still doesn't prompt me to headbang or anything. If Explosions in the Sky added introspective lyrics strained emotionally into the mic, this would be it. Don't buy it unless your Postal Service vinyl is scratched up and you need something to replace it but not be as good. 

Shows, yo!

So we've got listeners all over the place, so I'm going to tryyyy to cover the gamut and tell you when and where some of your favorite bands are playing, and also some other bands at venues we love that you should probably check out.

Music Hall of Williamsburg, Brooklyn, NY:

This week Deerhunter is playing Friday, and while I personally can't stand them, you may be able to. And should! Just because I don't like what they're doing doesn't mean they're not rad! The Mountain Goats and Khaki King are playing the next night, but ALAS, are sold out. So you might know somebody?? Def. a show to catch. Later this month Eagles of Death Metal and lots of other rad bands are playing, which I'll talk about laterrrr.

musichallofwilliamsburg.com

Webster Hall, NY, NY (Greenwich Village)

TONIGHT, yes, TONIGHT! Flobots and (AND!) Blue Scholars are playing. Go. Seriously. And if you couldn't call in those contacts for the Mountain Goats and Khaki King show across the bridge, they're playing (not sold out yet) on Sunday the 9th. Yeah, I guess I'll give you a reprieve from listening to check out this rad show! Coming up are shows by M83, the Kaiser Chiefs, Nada Surf, CSS, Matisyahu, and Gogol Bordello. You work for a reason, right? Crack out that wallet, because there are some sweet shows coming up!

websterhall.com

The Bitter End, NY, NY (Greenwich Village)

Bands you've never heard. Ridiculously cheap cover. A tradition of hosting the next big thing. See a problem? I don't. 

bitterend.com

Higher Ground, Burlington, VT

My hometown hotspot for upcoming acts, it's worth a trip because they get all those bands before NYC does a lot of times. And for cheaper. And you can meet the band out back to smoke up after the show. Coming up for them is Devin the Dude, Dark Star ORchestra, Method Man (haha yeah, I know. Rep the 802), Matisyahu, The Sword, and Brett Dennen, to name a few. Check it out, usually there's blunts and god-knows-what-else floating around the crowd, but a chill, vibe-centered crowd all the time. And if you don't know what vibing is, we have a problem.

highergroundmusic.com 

Nectar's, Burlington, VT

Classic institution where Phish got their start. Live music every night, little to no cover. Japhy Ryder playing twice between now and Christmas recording an album, so you should go. 

liveatnectars.com 

So now you have shows pulling you away from work and your hard earned cash. I've done my job. 

Electric Touch

CMJ loved 'em, I loved 'em, they're rockin' in a postpunk world. Plus, their website is seriously dope...hope they paid their digital guru mucho dinero for that shit! Or just love in their hearts.

http://electrictouchmusic.com Ch-ch-check it out, cruise around, we all know you're not sitting there doing work anyway!

Also if you don't love this, go listen to The Whigs. And if you DO love this, go listen to the Whigs. Who are super rad and Production City always gets stuck in my head and makes me want to kill myself, but in the best way. Not bullet to the brain kind of deal, more like get old and die surrounded by loved ones shortly after achieving nirvana. Newest album "Mission Control" is controlling my life right now. And is nothing like nirvana, but is 7.8 out of 10 in spite of that.

kdubs

china cat woodstock

STEPS TO CHINA CAT WOODSTOCK (radioshow extrodinaire):

1. LISTEN IN

2. FOLLOW THE BLOG

3. GET OFF (yeah, like that)

and now you're all wait, WHAT?! GETTING OFF ON THE SABBATH? IS SHE SERIOUS? yes.

I've been told there's a following, but basically I adore finding obscure new bands that believe they can single-handedly save rock and roll. For 2 hours a week I play with Caitlin Colquhoun and Milena DeVelcchio in the WMAR Fm booth. We run around with our shoes off, we spin in the chairs, we talk about things that shouldn't get talked about on the radio. And OH HEY! we spin some pretty rad tracks too! LISTEN IN, LOVE IT, IM US, CALL US...we're all about group participation. The more the merrier. A veritable orgy of music lovin' all night long (or, least til 12). Insert sexually charged music reference HERE!! 

Do ittttt. 

And OH YEAH! the point of this blog! Because let's be real, I'd rather write actual literature (poems, shorts, etc.) then keep an online journal. Welcome to 7th grade? But essentially I'll be posting information we talk about on the show, links to bands we mentioned, cool videos and pictures and rad shit that gets us off. Because we're all about getting off...musically, culturally, you name it, we're getting off on it one way or another. 

Listen live from Poughkeepsie, NY WMAR 88.1 THE FOX

OR

stream LIVE (yes, LIVE!), from your very own iTunes! http://icecast.marist.edu

much love, kdubs